Friday, October 3, 2008

My Boyfriend Won't Share

Dear Jason Adair the Unlicensed Therapist,

Why is it when you ask the man in your life if you can look at porn with him…the collection you know he has, or the websites you’re aware he visits…he doggedly says, “um yah, sure.” If guys like porn so much, why aren’t they willing to share it with their female partners? We’re willing to hold our noses and plunge into that water because we care. Why aren’t they willing, eager even, to accept the solicitation?

Prohibited Paired Porn, WA

Dear Porn,

The history of your boyfriend and his pornography go waaaaaaaaay back. While you were selling lemonade he was in his closet with an old cashmere sweater in one hand and a National Geographic in the other. The solitary relationship he's built with countless pages of the underwear section of the Sears Catalogue is ancient compared to the sexual relationship he has with you. He's seen girlfriends like you come and go, but the naked girls from Hustler have stayed by him through thick and thin. It's this age old bond with his fantasy world that he doesn't want to risk by inviting you into it. Mostly because he dosn't want you to ruin it. He fears that you will not enjoy looking at the disgusting filth that is the gospel of his id, and that you will look upon his shame and be repulsed. You say you want to plunge into that water, but it's really something you should wade into slowly, becasue it's cold, and dirty, and there's unidentifiable stuff floating in it. If you really want to explore the use of porn in your sex life, don't start with his porn. Find stuff you like and bring it in the bedroom. Be warned though, he'll probably be more supportive if your new interest than all of your old ones combined.

Your sexual mentor,
Jason Adair the Unlicensed Therapist

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