Dear Jason Adair the Unlicensed Therapist,
I have a serious problem. I still love my husband but I do not like him. We have evolved in different directions. I appreciate that he is a good man and a good father to our children. He is responsible and reliable. All the things some other women would kill for. But the way he eats his cereal sickens me and the way his dental floss clicks drives me insane. Do you think this feeling of disgust will pass?
- Looking my husband down in the mouth
Dear Looking,
I've actually received numerous letters concerning problems like yours recently. The whole "love but don't like" dilemma seems to be all the rage in 2008. What makes this trend interesting is that the problems people are having are never things that would be deal breakers, much less a cause to seek guidance from an unlicensed therapist. Growing too far apart is a natural process for at least 50% of married couples, while complaining about ridiculous things seems to affect more like 98% of married couples. Is your relationship really so good that the worst problem some people face is, "I can't stand the sound of my wife's voice"? Come on people! If your spouse had joined the Klan, or killed a neighbor and buried them under the potting shed, or loved the movie Sideways, you might have a argument worth making. As for the disgust, I'm wondering if it's not a little self loathing for feeling like you're a loser for falling out of like with this good man. The horrible truth is you don't need a good reason to fall out of like with someone. Unfortunately, without a big problem to work out, (i.e. Loving the Movie Sideways) it does make it harder to fix. So, I don't know if you'll ever get over the disgust. One thing that will definately help is to leave the room when your husband eats his cereal, and don't be in the bathroom when he flosses.
Sideways was a stupid movie,
Jason Adair the Unlicensed Therapist
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3 comments:
When I first started reading this letter, my heart sank.
:(
Was this MY wife?"
But, I don't floss!
(maybe that explains my morning breath)
Oh happy day!
I do love her so!
Dear Anonymous-
I am the woman who wrote this letter AND I happen to be a dental professional. The thought of my husband NOT flossing has grossed me out right back into his floss-flicking arms. I guess Jason is right....I might just be irritable....a common side effect of being in my 40's. But back to you...You Don't Floss? There is the saying, "Only floss the ones you want to keep" for a reason. If you think not flossing causes only "Morning Breath" you are sadly mistaken...it causes LIFE breath, gum disease, periodontal disease, acute necrotizing ulcerative papilla, infection, tooth loss, and dentures. FLOSS Mister. I used to floss my husband's teeth with his head in my lap while naked with my breasts dangling in his face....but the disgusting way he sucks his cereal made me no longer want to perform such niceties. And Jason, what's wrong with Sideways? I loved it.
I totally agree with you about the movie Sideways: if someone you know likes than run far away. I say this not because I've seen the movie (I haven't) but because my roommate likes it and I hate my roommate.
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