Thursday, August 21, 2008

Those Kids and Their Pornography

Dear Jason Adair the Unlicensed Therapist,
I worry about my kid getting into pornography.

-Concerned Mother

Dear Concerned,
The wording of your email could be taken two different ways, so I will attempt to answer both of them.

Possibility #1
You're worried about your kid viewing pornography.
I really wouldn't worry about your kid seeing pornography unless you're one of the 99% of American families who have access to the internet. If your family does have access to the internet/worlds largest collection of porn, then they have probably already seen some weird and crazy stuff that has completely distorted their perception of healthy sexual relationships. This kind of influence can be really dangerous and destructive since children aren't equipped to process this information as anything but sexual education. Check out for some great information on how to talk to kids of all ages about the dangers of viewing pornography.

Possibility #2
you're worried about your kid becoming a porn actor.
(Disclaimer: Yes, I know this is not a laughing matter and that it destroys peoples lives. And yes, I am a bad person and will probably go to hell for making jokes about it.)
If the kid you're referring to is under 18, the chances of him or her getting a job in the porn industry are very slight. Even less so if their weird uncle lives out of state. Pornography, internet or otherwise, it totally illegal for kids to get into and you need to let your kid know this, because that's the kind of thing that could go on their permanent record. Once they turn 18 and enter the "barely legal" demographic, it's a whole different ball game. As a responsible parent it's your job to steer them away from this kind of career. This may be difficult since the media makes it all seem so glamorous, but no one said this parenting stuff would be easy. Let your barely legal teen know that there are many great and rewarding jobs that don't require any special skills or involve taking their clothes off for money, like: line cook at a fast food restaurant, cashier at a fast food restaurant, or person who power washes the parking lot at a fast food restaurant. If they've still got their little hearts set on a career in adult entertainment, try and steer them into some kind of niche porn that doesn't involve them doing anything sex related, like the German "porn" where girls just get expensive cars stuck in the mud. Or the Japanese "porn" where girls in high heels crush model trains.

Your online friend in a not nasty way,
Jason Adair the Unlicensed Therapist

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Wow. is actually a good reference. So, I guess you're not totally full of poop.