Haunted by Art

Dear Jason Adair Unlicensed Therapist,

I have, and have had all my life, artistic aspirations. Without being specific, I’ll admit to not pursuing them fully. Now they follow me in the dark. What would you say to someone who is haunted by a sense of failure vis-à-vis his dreams?

-Haunted by dreams

Dear Haunted,

At first glance the solution seems easy. If you are indeed being haunted by your waking and sleeping selves, (licensed therapists call them your conscious and unconscious, but that's because they're big pretentious know-it-alls) it seems like your whiny do nothing self should just get out of your artistic self's way. Paint that painting! Pen that prose! Work out the kinks in your new break dancing routine! But not so fast. What if the "art" you want to create is to raise your two children to speak only Klingon? Or maybe you plan to eat a box of crayons and draw pictures with your poo, or kill kid's dogs while they watch, film their reaction, and post it on youtube? Does the world really need any more of that kind of art? I don't think it does. So in an effort to err on the side of caution, I'm going to advise you to leave your artistic pursuits in the closet. For the sake of the world at large, act like a grown up and suffer through your nightmares in solitude rather than potentially damaging the world. I know that sounds harsh, but ultimately it's what's best for the survival of the human race. If you feel like I've judged this situation in error, feel free to send me a sample of your art and I will be happy to reevaluate this post accordingly.

-Jason Adair the Unlicensed Therapist