Monday, May 26, 2008

Ted Danson and Alec Baldwin

Dear Jason Adair The Unlicensed Therapist,

I think we should enforce statements made in public. Alec Baldwin and Barbara Streisand said they would leave the country if George Bush was elected again. Yet here they are. 400 years ago, Bush declared "Mission Accomplished," yet there we are. Twenty years ago, Ted Danson said the earth would die in six years if we didn't clean up the oceans. Yet here we are. Either we should have legal ramifications for public statements made by dumb-ass celebrities and politicians or they should all shut their damn mouths.
-Stop Hellish Harangues

Dear stop,
First off, let me say it's rare that I get letters from a real live octogenarian, and that I really appreciate you took the time to figure out how the internet works so that you could send me your crazy ass ramblings. I gotta ask you though, is the world really so great that the only thing you can think of to complain about to an unlicensed therapist is MF-ing Ted Danson? Really? As if they guy doesn't have it bad enough with the hair plugs, TV specials on the Oxygen network, and stuff like this in his recent past:So what do you say we give old Ted a rest and take a closer look at your own harangues. After closely examining your letter I can only conclude that for someone who's part of "the Greatest Generation" you are a huge puss. Not only that, you're also an enemy of freedom my friend. Your comments make it seem like you want to strike down freedom of speech and freedom of the press with your palsied, little, liver spot covered, mitts. And believe me, I'd love to tell every damn fool who goes around spouting nonsense that he didn't have the right. But he does. That's just one of the million things about this country that makes it such a kick ass place to live. So kick ass in fact that even the people who claim to hate everything about it would never really dream of leaving, because regardless of all the stupid laws, and annoying celebrities, and starving children, and the fact that you can't get a decent Monte Cristo sandwich anymore, The United States of America is the inventor and owner/operator of the straight up wildest SPRING BREAK parties ever!!!!!!
-Jason Adair the Unlicensed Therapist.


ty said...

So true!!! If you want a good Monte Cristo, you just have to make it yourself. Unconscionable!

Anonymous said...

Interesting that you take the accountability your reader was asking for and equate it with a lack of freedom. He/she never once said that people should not have the right to say whatever they want, simply that they should be held accountable in some real way. If you really think that freedom is doing or saying whatever the hell you want with no consequences, then bollocks to you.
P.S. Great pictures of Ted Danson!

Anonymous said...

nice article. I would love to follow you on twitter.